I Think I'll Start Worshiping Ares*

I'm not religious. This isn't a surprise to anyone who has been around me but I thought I should state it from the start before I begin. This is not a knock against anyone's religious belief or lack of one. To each, his/her own. And this is definitely not to say that I don't have a long history with religions. I'm very familiar with most religions- either through my own general interest in the subject, research for different stories, college courses (which were my second favorite classes after Poli Sci aka BS 101) and just life experience.



For example.....
My dad was a follower of the Nation of Islam, which hurt my pepperoni pizza loving soul.
My uncle's family were Jehovah's Witnesses, which resulted in me fallin asleep in a Kingdom Hall. Twice.
My family is black and Southern. I visited North Carolina as a kid. Nuff said. Figure it out.
I sometimes attend my sister's non-denominational church when I visit her down south. Her pastor is a chatty Cathy but it is generally a good time and the folks are nice.
I've attended Glide Memorial in San Francisco because a friend asked me too. I like that place because it is REALLY non-denominational. No overt religion pushing and was more about spirituality and being a good human. I would go back.
I live in New York and went to a private school with a lot of kids of the Jewish faith. Plus, my shoot-em-up neighborhood borders an Orthodox Jewish section. The beach around there could get interesting, to say the least.

"But Sean, are you spiritual?" If you are asking do I believe there is a God watching over personally or that a guardian angel of some kind has been assigned to protect me, then no, I'm not spiritual. I think we get through life, most of us at least, without a safety net, divine or otherwise, and a lot of it is chance and our will to move forward.
But.....
I do believe that there is meaning behind us being here. Even in my most cynical moments I would like to believe that the universe has my back in some way. If you call that spirituality, then yes, I am spiritual in the fact that I think there is something larger than us. Am I going to give this force a name? Nope. I'm not that naive or bold to do that. Am I going to go to a place weekly and behave differently than I would on a Saturday night? I probably won't unless a loved one asks me to go for just a morning, as I did in the above cases. Could I become religious one day? Maybe. Almost nothing is impossible and things change. I could probably see myself becoming a Buddhist maybe. They seem to be generally cool, especially compared to the Big Three.

Chill dude.

And I already do what I assume people would consider spiritual actions. I like to take moments to observe life, whether in a park or walking alone or sitting in my room. I meditate and contemplate the bigger picture when I wash dishes. I try to imagine the inter-connectivity of  humanity when I'm on public transportation. I get close to Nirvana when I'm washing my clothes at the laundromat.

Spin Cycle Zen.

With all that being said, I don't necessarily believe that the universe is just looking out for me. There are too many people and I don't think I'm that special. Everyone has their own path and sometimes these paths meet and chaos is created. It gets messy. Conflicts arises, which brings us to Ares.

This dude is all about the conflict.

I think conflict though by most definition is negative it can be constructive. I actually believe the nature of people is to be in a state of conflict with each other. I would even go so far as to scale that up to the universe as a whole. Creation is a messy affair, no matter if you are talking about biology or the creation of planets. Crashing masses starts off the processes that resulted in us. Forest fires can ultimately lead to new tree life. Conflict can become a tool for growth and evolution.

Ares embodies this conflict as the god of war. I choose to see the positive growth from conflict. Every encounter we have with another human is a conflict. That doesn't mean that we are always arguing or disagreeing with others. Sometimes we get lucky and are in the same side of a conflict or we can see the benefits of bits and pieces of both camps. These interactions make us better people and are constantly happening. I find that if you think of conflicts in this way the world moves a little easier for you. It also makes it less personal and more about your role with other humans. Sure, things won't always be cool and some conflict just arises from encountering asshats but you can still learn from these moments and also realize that those people have the problem and not you.

So, I'm seriously thinking about starting a temple for Ares worship.** Should I start a Kickstarter for this?

Hey, here's some Fiddy on spirituality. I like this.

*I really want to say Mars because he is slightly less of a bloodthirsty figure and more honorable than Ares. But Ares is a cooler sounding name and I, also, didn't want people to get him confused with the planet- although that makes about much since as worshiping an unseen deity but let me not open that can of worms again.
**No, I'm not. I will be investigating my beliefs more though.

Thought Experiment

Take a second and imagine yourself at like 8 or 10 years old. Imagine that this younger version is in the room with you. He or she is sitting there next to you or looking over your shoulder as you look at this screen. They are probably wearing something horrible, like high water overalls or something bright from Cross Colours if you are about my age. Gods.
Anyway, back to the experiment.
So this younger you is standing there looking at the same computer screen as you. You click to one of your social networking pages, like Facebook, Myspace or Friendster(you are really STILL using Friendster? C'mon, son...) You go through your profile info and your pictures. You slowly look back over the pictures you took of yourself and pictures that others have put up of you.

What does your younger self say?
What do they think?
Are they happy with your life choices?

Week of (Kinda) Silence

March 27- April 2, 2010 Decided to take the week off from television and the interwebz. Here are the rules and below that is what happened.
DVDs don't count
Only my e-mail could be checked
Only emergencies could be responded to, ie job replies, sick friends, etc.
Limited time even in a room with television


Day1-
Sent out last necessary e-mail, still receiving e-mail to my BlackBerry but I only check the subject line for the importance of it. I can hear the tv in the other room with my younger brother; he's a tv fiend.
Odd to be up this early and not on a computer. Women choose the last moment or odd times to make request. Foresee a small window of future drop-offs for family. I don't really like driving; feels like my arse is spreading the more time behind the wheel.
Random thought popping in my head- like taking my brother and cousins to movies
The blue light is turned off on this cable box to not mock me but I watched Dogtown and the Z-Boys on DVD again. Think the message might be adversity and being fearless breeds creativity.
Also read Death of Ivan Ilyich by Tolstoy, which was recommended by Mess. It was decent but seemed like a school syllabus book read by girls in an English class at a private school that requires them to wear uniforms with stockings.
It still feels like a bunker around here. This is definitely my bro's space.
Plus side of this week off is it makes Earth Hour that much easier; even my brother participated.

Day 2-
Harder to get up on day two. Realizing my bro blasts the tv. Radio stations plays the same craptastic music on repeat and Slacker Radio has miraculously appear on my BlackBerry. This gives me a solution to dealing with others watching tv in my presence and is only borderline cheating.
Skype mobile has also appeared for some reason on my BB. I'm confused by how to even use it on this thing.
Listening to Gorillaz radio now and it has finally clicked why I like Song 2 by Blur. I never made the connection that it was Damon Albarn singing it.
Time to drive to the mall. Green Acres is shitty- it only has one bookstore, a Borders Express.
Okay, I broke my internet rule but to be fair it was to QUICKLY look up a recipe for my mother who was busy. I made some double chocolate cookies

Day 3-
Raining outside today.
Do I do laundry? Grandmother has the tv on as I decide.
Shaq's mom wrote a book. She says she had a plan? What? bang a tall dude?
Hit the library, drive out to less shitty mall in Roosevelt Field.
Man, I hate Rihanna and Sean Paul's accents. His sound like some mishmash of Jamaican patois and a drunk Irish dude. This Carry Out song by Timbaland and Justin Timberlake is pretty decent- the lyrics are ehh but I still succumb to the Timbo effect. Bookstores are great but if you are broke you DEFINITELY like the library much more.

Day 4-
Flood time. Awesome. New neighbors are moving in today.
I woke up to usual- my brother bumping rap music and Law & Order on his tv. Is he playing Drake? No, that's TI. Good.
Walk the dog and I feel like I'm swimming in the street.
I finished a book I picked up yesterday. I realize I hate book series for two main reasons 1) the first book is a good book and I can't wait for the next one to be published or 2) it is a crappy book in series and I feel I wasted my time.
Listened to Sean Price aka Kimbo Price and had a flashback to the early '90s and Decepticons roaming the subways in Brooklyn. I like this Trap or Die joint by Jeezy, forgot about it but still a good listen.
I talked to a friend or should I say I listened to my friend. Just reaffirmed my women are crazy and men are dumb theory. Need to really write up that blog.

Day 5-
I was just texted by my friend that my Facebook was hacked. Fixed it and quickly got off the internet.
I need to get to the store for some art supplies soon. Wait. Oh yeah. I'm broke.
It's laundry time. I like this teenage girl's chunky headphones- they are black with a red number 6 inside a circle. I'm trying to remember where I have seen them before.
These notes I'm jotting down are like tweeting without Twitter. I do find myself missing the internet a bit.
Just revisited a variation of a story idea I had. Hey, the library has new yellow bags. They kinda remind me of the bank bags in the Jason Bourne movies but much cheaper.
Why are people surprised at flooding if you live by a shoreline? I was never shocked. This lady is whining like she was hit by Katrina.
Should I even do my taxes?
Another food question...why ask questions when the answer is always the same? I should look into male PMS. I might have that shit. Or maybe I'm just more irritable than I think I am.

Day 6-
Fell asleep at 8 pm woke at 12:30 am and then rose again at 6:35 am. I thought I set my alarm for 9:30 pm. Apparently not.
I turned on Z100 (NYC Top 40 station) and the morning show was on as I showered. They are having a discussion about Heathers and how people with that name were bitchy and/or slutty. I had to chuckle at this.
Holy Thursday is April 1st/April Fool's Day. I think there is a deeper meaning there with the catholic church's handling of abuse.
Yard work outdoors. I have that Justin Bieber song stuck in my head. Uh-oh. Do I have Bieber Fever?
I turn on Slacker for a cure and listen to NERD. Their music always makes me think about superheroes and Cali.
Missing vowels? Really, Gmail? That's the best you can do?
Should I get a haircut? The Rub is Saturday.
Grandmother had Marriage Ref on as I worked on something. I find I have to agree with my friends- it is funny. TV is still on with Leno now. Bobby Brown sweeps up on Jay's trivia contest- but he only beats K-Fed and Nicole Eggert so there is that qualifier....

Day 7-
Woke up and I am out of it. I had a dream about me trying to return a lost dog, going south and north, getting into a car accident and then arguing and fighting with 4 cops like I was a Watchmen/Matrix character.
As I walk this dog, I notice similarities between him and me- anger issues, bad teeth, rush for instant gratification, run into things blindly, sweet tooth, need haircuts constantly and constantly humping anything we could in the past.
Touching up a fake fight poster, Nope. I'm not going overboard but might be fear of failure kicking in.
I have to hit the library again. I like rocking my hat or hoodie but don't know if it's for comfort or protection or if it's a form of hiding.
Anyway, this has been a strange but enlightening week. Needed the break but now it's time for inane waste of time on the world wide web.
Why did we stop calling it that? Guess it is geeky but the internet is kinda geeky by it's mere existence.
Whatever. Peace.