Friday, October 11, 2013


Before I start, my dad is out the hospital after like 50 + days and I've taken baby steps to reconnect with an old friend/weird relationship lady friend. So most of this is good or at least moving forward.

Started back to tutoring last week. Only working one day during the week at my friend's place right now but it's cool and I'm still looking for other gigs as usual. The normal shite.

So, this week I went in as usual and held the elevator for this woman with a cane because I'm an awesome dude like that.

Good advice. Be like me.

I had a weird moment of staring and smiling with her as we watched the numbers on the panel light up. She ended up getting off on the same floor as me. Okay. She was a fellow tutor, who has apparently been working with the same group for the past 4 years but we've never met.

We were both early. I said hi to my friend and other people I knew but somehow we (me and the elevator chick) just dropped into conversation about random stuff with each other REALLY easily. It was strange.

It was weird that we had that moment (or at least I had that moment with her) and the ease of talking with a stranger was unusual for me. I'm very charming, false modesty be damned, and can talk to pretty much anyway I meet but this was different.

I have no idea what it means or if it means anything. I have a horrible habit of reading into things which I blame entirely on being a pop culture victim, with rom-coms, sci-fi and comic books being the usual suspects.

I've had times where I have talked with folks and during the course of a conversation had my brain tell me "You and this person will be real cool." I've had times where I've thought "Wow. That person is really attractive. I want make out with them" in public. This wasn't any of that.*

Is there a thing as "friendship at first sight"? We'll see where this goes.

PS- Totally unrelated note but I've learned that more of my friends, particularly the female ones, are more geeky than I knew. This shouldn't be a surprise to me, "birds of a feather" and the such, but it was.**

UPDATE- Never mind.

*Not saying she wasn't attractive. She was but I wouldn't say she was "my type."*** Anyway...
**I reread that and it's a bit sexist of me to not think they would be. I'm working on that patriarchal thinking instilled in my brain.
***Do I even have a type? Hmmm...

Bullshite/Just Do It

I've come to a realization.

No, not a realization but something obvious that I already knew but have a tough time applying to the reality because, well, I'm me.

I need to write and there is no valid excuse not to be writing pretty much whenever I get a free moment.

I mean, I already kinda do but those writing jags come in bursts and I have full ideas for stories that I've either a) have completed only in my head b) should be stopped/put off for later because I don't have a really good ending or c) have not uploaded/shared.

A lot of the time I invent excuses for not writing and the big one is always access to the necessary equipment, ie a computer.

This is bullshit.

People were writing before these magical boxes were created. Hell, I was writing before this thing. I still write with pen and paper mostly now anyway. The only thing about not having constant access to a computer is a valid excuse for is the quantity of content put on the internet by me. I can update my Tumblr and Pinterest pretty regularly so there should be no reason for me not to do the same with these blogs.

So, time to stop the bs and just do it. Throw up (good) work and get this noise in my head out into the world on a consistent basis as opposed to those nights where I'm in the zone.

Keep me honest, Russians and Latvians.