Monday, September 15, 2008
As always this post starts out of a conversation or two of three with my friends, who are, generally, smarter and better at making headway in life than I am. So, when they begin to discuss how things aren’t going there way or that they are lost, I get worried. Not to be totally self-absorbed and I DO care profoundly how my friends are doing, I instantly think “If this person is in bad straits, what the hell does that mean for me?”
One particular conversation that had me write this comes from a friend who is in a very similar state as I’m currently in. She was talking about how she gets bored with a lot of things and really has no concrete issue in one thing so it becomes hard for her to just choose a life path. Her telling me this made me reflect on this idea I had a week ago and have been thinking about for awhile actually.
I always have this love for watching movies set back in gladiatorial times or movies with knights or other periods involving simple people fighting and living. Not that I see an abundant amount of people that resemble me in these films but I’ve gotten used to it and watch these flicks for the stories and characters. I realized what I really like about these movies and it may sound weird.
I like the fact that these people either play the role they were assigned in life or attain a role they want and is fun for them. Their lives are simple- you do what you do, fall in love, fight, have children and pass on. If you are particularly good at what you do, your story lives on forever.
Now, this may seem weird especially from someone who wants to do everything and hates to be told what to do but I wish sometimes that my path was planned like that. Like, “Hey, here’s a sword. You are a soldier. Go.” There is no debating, no internal struggle. I have a sword and I either fight or I die. That’s it. Simple. And after the fighting is done for the day, I do whatever the hell I want. Or maybe it wasn’t like that. Maybe their lives sucked in a different way. I don’t know.
Maybe I want a simplified existence to make my life easier to manager and get through. If it’s all planned, there are no questions. I like questions but I also like to not stress about what I’m going to do next. So yeah, I watch these movies to escape reality and think about a simpler lifestyle.
Or maybe I just think I would be bad-ass with a sword. Who knows?