With that being said, there are certain shows I don't watch on HGTV ever. I avoid House Hunters, My First Place and House Hunters International, which is just HH for REALLY rich people. It's not that these aren't good shows and I have seen an episode or two when my mother was watching where I am interested in what is going on. But if I'm alone, I will switch the channel.
I often wondered why I did this. At first I thought it was boredom because no one was building a deck or knocking down a wall or putting in a big screen TV behind a mirror. I have needs and these are some of them when watching other people do stuff to their places of residence.
But, then, it hit me.
I don't watch these shows because it's about a future with owning stuff and family and being "locked in" with your life.
I have a fear about having a mundane existence and a weird inability to follow the rules of how I "should" mature and be living. This is funny because I know in my heart that I DO want to be a home owning guy with a backyard, a wife, a kid or a few, maybe a dog. But when I see these people on TV, I just go into Sean Shutdown mode. Either that or I turn into Dave Chappelle in these moments...
I don't know why it happens. Maybe it comes from some weird trauma I had or is my old teen self speaking up in my head, telling me dumb shite about "humanity is horrible" and "don't have a family" and "you'll just screw it up." I don't know. I couldn't tell you.
I'm going to think on it some more.
Anyway, I need to post something to get the typing fingers working and also this just popped in my head because I saw a commercial for HGTV. I got some stuff going/not going on (yeah, I'm still vague) but I will be putting up stuff on this and my Thracian Drive blog. I got all the ideas and most of it down; just got to make myself upload it. That's always the tough part for me.
I'm a weirdo. But y'all knew that. Why else are you here?
*btw, check out Diresta's channel on YouTube. He does awesome work there and on the MAKE Magazine channel.
