Future Shock

Anyone who knows me knows that I love watching HGTV and DIY Network. I'm an addict about those networks programming almost to the state that I'm an addict about sci-fi geekery. I love building stuff and seeing cool ideas come together and those two stations (do people still say "stations"?) are perfect for that.*

With that being said, there are certain shows I don't watch on HGTV ever. I avoid House Hunters, My First Place and House Hunters International, which is just HH for REALLY rich people. It's not that these aren't good shows and I have seen an episode or two when my mother was watching where I am interested in what is going on. But if I'm alone, I will switch the channel.

I often wondered why I did this. At first I thought it was boredom because no one was building a deck or knocking down a wall or putting in a big screen TV behind a mirror. I have needs and these are some of them when watching other people do stuff to their places of residence.

But, then, it hit me.

I don't watch these shows because it's about a future with owning stuff and family and being "locked in" with your life.

I have a fear about having a mundane existence and a weird inability to follow the rules of how I "should" mature and be living. This is funny because I know in my heart that I DO want to be a home owning guy with a backyard, a wife, a kid or a few, maybe a dog. But when I see these people on TV, I just go into Sean Shutdown mode. Either that or I turn into Dave Chappelle in these moments...

I don't know why it happens. Maybe it comes from some weird trauma I had or is my old teen self speaking up in my head, telling me dumb shite about "humanity is horrible" and "don't have a family" and "you'll just screw it up." I don't know. I couldn't tell you.

I'm going to think on it some more.

Anyway, I need to post something to get the typing fingers working and also this just popped in my head because I saw a commercial for HGTV. I got some stuff going/not going on (yeah, I'm still vague) but I will be putting up stuff on this and my Thracian Drive blog. I got all the ideas and most of it down; just got to make myself upload it. That's always the tough part for me.

I'm a weirdo. But y'all knew that. Why else are you here?



*btw, check out Diresta's channel on YouTube. He does awesome work there and on the MAKE Magazine channel.

Connected Guy, No More*

* well, at least for this weekend

Taking a break from as much of humanity as I can for at least the weekend.

Maybe until Tuesday.

Very hard. You forget how much you rely on the internet and your phone. Even posting this is taking all of my restraint not to go to another random website or fall into the Wikipedia hole.

Hopefully this time off will allow me to think and straighten out some life stuff and some emotional stuff. Also, maybe I can really get to work on things I have begun and just haven't completed/uploaded.

Plus, I still got a lot to clear out on my DVR. I have NO IDEA what is going on with Once Upon A Time at this point. Maybe I can fix that. This is low priority though.


UPDATE: I'm back on the net. I have a problem and it's unfortunately no longer this.

Idiom Series Sixteen

Not so Sweet Sixteen. BLAM! I got my mojo back!

"Now, I'm just playing devil's advocate here but..."

Just shut the frak up! Really. You saying this doesn't take away from the fact that you are about to say some REAL offensive shite.
It's almost as bad as when someone says "Not to sound racist/sexist/homophobic." Guess what? Whatever is coming out of your mouth is sure to be racist/sexist/homophobic. I'm pretty sure I have never encountered a situation when that hasn't happened.

And, come on, does the Devil really need an advocate? He/She/It does fine all by him/her/itself. I don't think the Devil is looking for you for backup. Been working alone for millenniums; the Devil is fine.

So, if you feel this statement creeping up in your throat, shut your mouth and don't say whatever is going around in your pea-brain.

Thanks, The World. And, I'm guessing, the Devil too.

New Readers- FYI

Just so you know, this blog is encapsulated in the following gif:

That is all.

Respect of Self

I was going to put up another few posts (I will tonight) but I came across this selection from Joan Didion called "On Self-Respect." It's pretty good and, if you get a second, check out the whole thing here. I thought the last bit was very good and so I'm sharing it with you right now. It helped me decide what to do, or at least gave me pause in my decision making process about some stuff-


"To have that sense of one’s intrinsic worth which constitutes self-respect is potentially to have everything: the ability to discriminate, to love and to remain indifferent. To lack it is to be locked within oneself, paradoxically incapable of either love or indifference. If we do not respect ourselves, we are the one hand forced to despise those who have so few resources as to consort with us, so little perception as to remain blind to our fatal weaknesses. On the other, we are peculiarly in thrall to everyone we see, curiously determined to live out – since our self-image is untenable – their false notion of us. We flatter ourselves by thinking this compulsion to please others an attractive trait: a gist for imaginative empathy, evidence of our willingness to give. Of course I will play Francesca to your Paolo, Helen Keller to anyone’s Annie Sullivan; no expectation is too misplaced, no role too ludicrous. At the mercy of those we cannot but hold in contempt, we play roles doomed to failure before they are begun, each defeat generating fresh despair at the urgency of divining and meeting the next demand made upon us.

It is the phenomenon sometimes called “alienation from self.” In its advanced stages, we no longer answer the telephone, because someone might want something; that we could say no without drowning in self-reproach is an idea alien to this game. Every encounter demands too much, tears the nerves, drains the will, and the specter of something as small as an unanswered letter arouses such disproportionate guilt that answering it becomes out of the question. To assign unanswered letters their proper weight, to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves – there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect. Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home."

Good stuff.

Also, I'm still g'd up even when thinking about this stuff. Don't forget, cuz.