I Hate Bluetooth Headsets

(okay, so the title doesn't relate to the post AT ALL, I'm just saying....)

DOOOO-OOOOH-YOOUUUUCHHHEEBBBAAAGGGGG!!!!

Anyways....

So I'm trying to get things back on track in my life. If you have read my blog for any length of time you would know that I'm spending a lot of time doing introspective work on my life. I still have work to do in that category but I'm also trying to work with practical solutions as well.

One of those is giving up the liquor. (For more on my progress on that, go HERE.

That is....proceeding. I guess that's all I can say on that but I have high hopes that it will save what little liver I have left, keep me out of too much trouble, stop blackout moments and save a little scratch.

The last reason is very important to me since I need money. Work hasn't been too great at providing hours, which is expected at the beginning of the year and is being resolved as we speak but money would help in a lot of ways with other parts of my life. Not going to get into all the details now but I have to get another job and get my writing more up to snuff. Cannot live this way for too much longer.

I have faith that everything will be resolved or on their way to a resolution by March. Until then, this is how I feel.

Venom= Current Issues; Eric Foreman= Me

I'll be cool. But, damn, a cold beer would be SO nice right about now.

The Traveler

I'm dedicated to this year being a WHOLE lot better than last year, which shouldn't be so hard to accomplish considering the general craptastic moments I had. I also am a realist and know that this goal of a good 2009 and further won't be accomplished over night. I still have a lot of work to do and I also have some stuff left over from last year to still deal with. Realistically, I won't see a substantial upswing until maybe April.

That being said, I have had a pretty meh first couple of days of 2009. New Year's Eve was okay even if low-key and sober but the last two or three days have been pretty piss poor. Getting stopped by the cops again, account and money issues, hours being loss at work, silly and not so silly arguments and being in a general funk have made this past weekend highly reminiscent of 2008. My roommate and my out-of-town pal offered to buy me a drink but I knew it would just make me more depressed and/or angry. I got so fed up with it last night I just went to sleep at around 8:30.

8:30. On a Saturday night. In Vegas. Yeah. Very wrong.

So, I wake up early to go to the library and do some writing and get my head clear. As always as this laptop takes a minute to come on and connect to the internet, I take a minute to stroll through the new fiction. Sometimes I'll find something I want or just something I wouldn't read but that turns out to be pretty good or at least a decent distraction. Today was no exception.

I picked up Traveler by Daren and Daniel Simkin. It had a nice basic cover and I was particularly interested because it was created by two brothers and I'm working on a story concerning two brothers. I was also recently thinking about trying to come up with something for me and my brother to work on because I fear we both might be treading water a little bit and might need a lil push.

Anyway, I open up the book and look at the pages and think this book is for kids. As I read it, I realize it could be for kids but it definitely contains a message for lost adults. Whether that's lost in love or being lost in your family or clueless with what you want to do, this book is for you. It's not a road map per se but it definitely makes you feel better about the choices or non-choices you have made. It sort of reminded me of Oh, The Places You'll Go! by Dr. Seuss, which is for kids but has more to say to young adults.

I don't want to give away much about the book because I think people should read it but I'll just say that the main character reminds me of myself, always searching for that perfect place and not living the life the way his friends do. They meet in the end and he is sad that he didn't do the things they did but they also want to hear how he did live his life differently than them.

This is particularly poignant for me on two levels.
First, I used to have a boss who told me that a man should look for something he is 75-85% happy with and be satisfied. Then, you can build on the rest. I think his point is that you can never find something that totally fulfills you but if you find enough things that do it most of the way the combination of them will make your life full. If we are always pursuing 100% happiness (which a lot of people do), we pass up the things with potential to get us to that place.
Secondly, I hang out with my friends when they visit here or when I go see them and I often find myself as the odd man out. They have taken pretty well-defined life paths and have a definite future that is pretty much set, either through good work or a passion that drives them. I always feel like the lost soul trying to get back on track. I was talking to my friend and he told me something that shocked me- he was at times a little happy for me because I just lived my life without boundaries and rules and just go with the wind. I told him I felt the same way about him and the others and I'm always scared that I screwed this thing called life up big time. But hearing that did make me feel marginally better and hopeful.

I guess we can't always see the positive aspects of our own lives and can appreciate those of others. The grass is always greener on the other side.

I still need to mow my lawn but it does make me feel better that someone sometimes peeks over my fence and thinks "Hey, you are living part of a life I want."

Yeah, I'm A Criminal

“A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.”
-Howard Scott

I was having a conversation with one of my friends about the state of affairs in the economic world. Actually, I was having this conversation with a few of my friends about this issue but this friend was complaining about his shabby treatment at his job and the cutting of hours. I suggested he steal as much company supplies in response. I said it as a joke (mostly) but it made me think. Banks are failing, governments are shutting down, people are being laid off, we are giving huge bailouts to corporations and the empire of America is in a decline. With the economy in the shitter as it is the only types of work that don’t seem to be experiencing negative effects are either the collection/repo services or criminal activities.

Criminality is a constant growth industry, kids.

Now, I’m not one to advocate criminality for just any old reason and there are definite crimes that I don’t give a pass on for any reason- rape, abuse of children, genocide- but like I said this conversation had me thinking and looking at my own wallet and bank statements I thought what are the pluses and minuses of some criminal enterprises….

Thief-


This category is broad. Any number of acts can fall into it- from stealing candy from the supermarket (which is only KINDA stealing if you ask me) to bilking your investors out of their money in a corporation. For the sake of this blog I’m going to address the one areas of thievery that I would have little to no problem actually getting involved in if shite got any tighter. I would become a gentleman thief or I would hit banks or other places where they have large sums of money.
Why? Well, first off, it’s LARGE SUMS OF MONEY. Secondly, most of these places are insured and the loss wouldn’t affect as much as say me knocking over a convenience story or mugging someone. Lastly, there is something mildly attractive about being a debonair thief. Like a smooth cat burglar.
Plus, if movies and comics haven’t lied to me, hot chicks either also steal and/or like dudes that do.

See where I'm going with this?

Reality Check- Yeah, very rarely do you get successful grand heists anymore with the advent of better security and technology. When someone does knock over the bank (the Joker robbing a mob bank in Dark Knight not being real) they usually make out with maybe a few thousand before they have to beat feet to avoid cops, if they are lucky. If not, you may do up to 20 years in the pokey. Might as well just get a job in the bank or get a girlfriend and holdup mini-marts across the U.S.A. while driving around in a muscle car. I mean, that’s what I would do. Preferably with someone who looks like Michelle Rodriguez.

Just saying. If you gonna do something, might as well go all out.

Drug Dealer-

This category is VERY familiar to me. I have got a lot of inside knowledge on it. If you are going to be a drug dealer become a drug lord. Why? Simply because if you are on the lower rungs then selling drugs is like working a shitty minimum wage job without healthcare or dental. The only plus about that is that drugs sell themselves so you don’t necessarily have to be a charismatic person to move your product. You are up early, have to move a lot of work and are out whether rain, sleet or snow. Fiends need that fix so you have to be around to give it. Couple that with rival dealers and drug abusers not always being the most reliable revenue stream at times, you are looking at a McDonald’s job with extra shooting.
A drug lord on the other hand stays home when it’s snowing, usually has nice things and if he/she is smart has money, lawyers on retainer and a nice cover story to get him through life.
Also, Eva Mendes. I think.

All good, right?

Reality Check- WRONG! Your ass is going to either jail, a cemetery or Orlando, Florida- all equally shitty places if you ask me. (no offense, people in jail and dead people*) Low level hustlers get a couple of months or years depending on your judge and your crappy public defender. Higher level guys can get out of some charges but most get hit by RICO.Goodbye.
On top of that, there are, again, people trying to take your spot by any means necessary, including murder, getting high on your own supply, and the threat of Orlando.

*shudder*

As Mr. Garrison says “Drugs are bad, mmmkay?”


Hitman-

Or contract killer if you want to get fancy on me. I think, for me at least, that this is much better than the whole drug dealing thing but definitely not as cool as dashing thief. If it’s done right you can make it sexy though.
Hitman offers multiple paths to make money. You can be a mercenary, paid to do dirt for random folks. You can work for one person/organization, which is nice because I heard mob bosses give out AWESOME fruitbaskets around Christmas. You can do government black-ops, super-secret hush work and assassinate guys that are a threat to oil, uhhh, I mean FREEDOM. Yeah, freedom. That’s the ticket. If you are really good, you can bounce from one thing to the next without care.

Then there is the whole mysterious killer thing you got going for you, particularly in bars **-
Lady- “What do you do for a living?”
You- “If I told you, I would have to kill you.”
(Lady giggles and gives you a playful slap on your chest)
Lady- “Shut up. Seriously, what do you do?”
You- “I’m a professional assassin.”
Lady- “Really? That’s HOT. Take me right here, Sean.”
(Or at least that’s what I imagine how that would go down. I get “Ehh. That’s cool” when I tell people I teach- go figure)

Reality Check- Okay, let’s skip all of the nightmares you might get from snuffing out a life and just say for example that you are one of the select few people who have no qualms about killing. You have to deal with jail time if you get caught. Yeah, yeah, I know. I have heard all that bs about “You get the same sentence for 1 body as 10” but you know what? A life sentence is a life sentence and the death penalty, from what I hear, hurts.

On top of that you have to realize how murder is going to affect your interpersonal relationships. Sure, you’ll get a few crazy girls who will bang you but those are also the women who cut you in your sleep.
You can’t marry that.
A good wife will probably look pass the whole stealing the Hope diamond or selling a few bags of Mary-Jane to pay them college loans but very few will roll with mowing down people for dollars.
If she IS cool with that, then she is probably an assassin like you and you just might have to kill her someday. Just to prove who is a better crazy killer.

Good advice-Don't bring a meat cleaver to a gunfight, son.

Not to mention your mother. You know mom doesn’t like killing. Probably be better if you are a porn star. At least you can look her in the eye and say you were the featured performer in Big Black Dicks Like Little Asian Chicks 8.....
Well, maybe you can. Not me. I'll love the Asian ladies for free. Just to make more chicas like this one.

I'm a humanitarian that way, folks.


*Okay, I've never been to Orlando but imagine it must be a little like Hell to spawn boy bands. Like Boston used to do in the 1980s. Fuckin' Boston.
** Ladies, switch Lady to Dude and my name to whatever yours is. Unless it's Sean, too, which is hot on any gender.

A Year Older...

I'm always interested in articles and things about people's personalities and characteristics. Fascinated that people think that just by knowing a few certain facts or opinions on someone you can create a full breakdown of that person. I'm not exactly sure how true that is. For example, in psychological terminologies I'm classified as an INTP -Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Perceiving- type of person, meaning I'm an introverted thinking and internalize things with extroverted intuition, with whatever that means. This is mostly true I guess but doesn't FULLY encapsulate me I think. It's a good start.
What I find even more fascinating is when people use things like birth dates or astrological symbols to pigeonhole you. I'm a Sagittarius and have been told everything from I'm adventurous to I'm a sex addict to I should be more work oriented. I generally laugh at all this but I received a book on the significance of birth dates a few years back and although I'M SURE this doesn't apply to everyone born on this date, I find that it is pretty damn close for me.
Read and tell me what you think. Even if you don't know me you can probably extrapolate the validity of this from my prior blog entries


November Twenty-Eighth
The Day of the Lone Wolf

The highly intense individuals born on November 28 must pursue their own course. Living paradoxes, those born on this day are complex individuals who never cease to amaze their family and friends with their unique combination of aggression and sensitivity. Their ideology is extremely important to them, but it can change in a bewildering fashion, its twists and turns leading through a maze of irony and high seriousness. For example, it may be difficult to determine whether a November 28 individual is conservative or radical, right- or left-wing, an upholder of the social order or anarchic rebel. Ultimately such terms have little meaning in reference to November 28 thought patterns, which must be understood on their own terms.

Although November 28 people appear to others as physical types, the primary thrust of their day is mental, even intellectual. No matter what their walk of life or profession, they can often be found arguing their case, refusing to submit to any ready-made dogmas or belief systems. They are basically self-taught thinkers, and for many, school is at best an annoyance and at worse an imprisonment. They have a strong penchant to take the opposing point of view due to their resistance to absolute statements and generalizations of all types.

November 28 people enjoy pointed humor, and will use wit and irony as powerful weapons against their opponents and also as a means to clarify and give shape to their own views. Most often, however, they make an impression of forthright seriousness. Emotionally, November 28 people are usually caught up in their own personal maelstrom. Romantic relationships may surface frequently, but those born on this day have enormous difficulties in maintaining stability in this area. Their friendships, on the other hand, are usually rock-solid, and highly meaningful. Those who are involved with them will never forget the experience- difficult, maddening, recalcitrant and paradoxical, they go their own way and do their own thing. For example, they can be among the most generous of individuals and yet at other times the most selfish. Often their goodness and true nature is more easily understood by animals and small children, on a purely intuitive level, than by a critical, analytical adult mind. A love of nature and of the animal world is in fact sacred to them, being their one constant refuge from disappointing and uncertain human experiences.

Perhaps the greatest problem for November 28 people is coming to understand themselves, and being able to straighten out their complex, difficult personalities. Usually it is seething emotions which keep them from viewing themselves in a more objective light. Many born on this day use work as an escape from what seems an excessive self-involvement. Concerning the four major faculties of perception- intellect, emotion, intuition, sensation- a titanic effort must be made by November 28 people to bring them into balance. Only then can they progress in their personal development and come to terms with the society around them.

Strengths- profound, natural, emotionally sensitive
Weaknesses- contradictory, confused, dogmatic



Whadda ya think?

Random Knowledge

Collected knowledge from wise men of our time.

These gentlemen have, in my humble opinion, have been sent to our little planet to impart wisdom to the masses. It isn't everything you need to know but it is a lot to make your life better. Enjoy and learn.

Trust me. This will improve your life.

Mr. Manning has been dropping some knowledge for a while. Listen to number 18.

Peyton 1

Peyton 2

Peyton 3

Peyton 4

Peyton 5

And Randy Moss on keeping your money right.

And of course, the genius that is Mike Tyson.



Heed these words of wisdom from one of the true sages of our time....


You ARE a fool and these three men will help you. I included the pertinent links but I got more if you need extra help. Sucka!

Wesley Snipes

Ghostface Killah

Mr. T Gem 1
Mr. T Gem 2
Mr. T Gem 3
Mr. T Gem 4 (obviously I need some work with this one)
Mr. T Gem 5
Mr. T Gem 6
Mr. T Gem 7 building on Gem 6
Mr. T Gem 8
Mr. T Gem 9
Mr. T Gem 10 for a car commercial, it's very deep.

If you follow these jewels of knowledge, your life will be infinitely better. Trust me. And get rid of that food tongue, son.

Perhaps the most important advice from Mr. T- M.O.M. word.

It is the greatest book of common sense. EVER. The name of this book.....
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO PRETTY TONEY
by Ghostface Killah with J. Brightly

This book is not just awesome for it's sage advice but also for it's excellent pictures that make the book even better. Of particular note, is the pics of Donnell Rawlings (aka Ashy Larry) accompanying the pearls of wisdom.

Chapter Titles-
Livin':Y'all Sleepin' Too Much
Bobbin' & Weavin':Gotta Stay On Point
Wizdom:How You Gonna Tell The Chick She Can't Shit?
The Hustler's Diet:Just Look In The Cabinets
Toneology:We Gotta Bring It Back To The Table.
(The Hustler's Diet and Wizdom are my favorite chapters, by the way-true Jew-Elz)

The book also comes with an audio CD for y'all who can't spend time reading.

Get this book. Read it. Listen to the CD. Improve your life. Word.

I now need to find some of the wisdom that is Michael Irvin, who appreciated the finer things in life. Like crack cocaine.